Do You Regret Being A Mother? Pt. 2

Ondina Silvera

What does it mean to be maternal or have a maternal nature? 


Rachel, Alison, and Joy were not enjoying motherhood and they all had a very similar reason as to why; they were not prepared for, and each one seemingly went into the experience of motherhood as a fairytale played out into reality, only to find, the fictitious ideology of motherhood was better than the fact of it. Oh, you darn movies and television shows, and worst, the misguided anxiousness of the mind.

After reading all the women accounts of motherhood and their call out for other mothers or women to speak out and up about their more authentic feelings regarding motherhood, it reminded me of a song I wrote, which I sang for my mother, to which she immediately told me, "that song isn't a pleasant song", because of the lyrics.

The song derived from a woman I saw every day who clearly wasn’t enjoying motherhood at all. It didn’t live up to her expectations. I, who wasn’t a mother at the time, realized she was not enjoying motherhood and accepted, she wasn’t. What inspired the song? One day she appeared greatly disheveled, and I suppose, my friendly disposition made her feel comfortable enough to share with me the following statement,

“I don’t have to always smile at her, do I? I mean is it wrong if I don’t love my child every day? I mean is it wrong if I don’t want to be around her all the time? Do you have any children?” I replied, "no." I am not sure as to why she assumed I had children as I wouldn’t know what a woman who has children look like. She also started to cry. I said to her, “Please know it is okay not to like, or want to be around your child all the time. Not everyone has that, and that is why child care exists.” She cried and then asked if I like children. “ Yes, I do.” She asks, “have you ever watched a toddler before?” “Yes, I have.” She then asks, “Are you available to watch my daughter?” I replied, “Unfortunately with my schedule, I am not able.”

She walks away to pick up her daughter, she is fussing, and I see the woman’s face turn red. She looks back at me, and I say to her, remember you don’t have to like her or always be in the mood to play.” The elevator door opens, and she gets on with a screaming, crying and fussy toddler. To the defense of the toddler, as most toddlers do not need any defending, it was nap time for most toddlers at that time, and the child was most likely tired. 


To be continued...

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