Reading the article by Jean Mackenzie, reminded me of that moment. That silent moment when a woman shared with me, she wasn’t enjoying motherhood without saying it. This article made me look at my children photos, one whom I carry in my heart and the other on my hip, and I smiled. I knew why I wanted children and it wasn’t to full fill the fantasy of feeling like I have a family to love me, or a legacy to leave my name or likeness or someone to do all the things I “felt” I couldn’t do…No! I had children because I wanted to experience God. I wanted to be apart of the miracle of Birth. I wanted to add my name to the exclusive club called mommy. I wanted dirty little fingers on my face and giggles from the bottom of little babies tummies…I longed to watch my own children wow me and grow.
I wanted to learn about myself, and I desired to understand parenting. I wanted to have the answer to why my Father dropped the ball and how my mother was able to keep it from falling. I wanted to experience pure joy and light. I wanted to see it in its sincerest form before the light dimmed before it brightened again. I wanted to be a mother because I wanted to be the mother I never had. And me having children helped me to understand the challenges it takes to be a mother, single or not. The difficulty in disciplining and loving each one unconditionally, knowing you can never please them both at the same time. Knowing both must always be my favorite. I realized me being a mother had a lot to do with me wanting to see the reality of what this life indeed has to offer. I choose to be a mother, I didn’t allow life to make that choice for me.
God said be fruitful and multiply, however, not everyone will be "fruitful" and multiply by way of their own loins. Motherhood isn’t only subjected to carrying a child and birthing a child. Motherhood can be achieved through mentorship, fostering, and adoption. Taking a child under your care “wing” and guiding and supporting them in life. I am happy I stumbled across this article, it motivated me to go back into my archives and pull out that song about mothers who do not either want to be mothers and women who do not want children. Controversial? Maybe to some…Necessary?…Based on the article and my encounter?…Definitely.
-Hope-
Photo: Thomas and O. Silvera
