Pour love all over yourself, Dina, like you were having multiple orgasms like you were dancing naked outside in a bed of flowers soft, being caressed by a cool breeze. Can you feel the air on your buttocks? Yes, I can. Lay your body down on the grass and pour love all over you. Let it enter every pore, let it slowly find its way to your nervous system, allow it to electrify your heart, allow it to awaken you, bringing you back to life.
Look at your naked body and touch each visible part and pour love all over your scars, pour it on the ground beneath your feet, and stand in it. Allow it to become hands, and climb up your legs, to wrap its essence all over you…let it. Let the Spirit of love devour you. Let it find a home within you. Breathe and let it enter you. Let it blend in with your blood and add oxygen back into your body. Allow it to awaken your hypocretin, and energize your mental faculties, allow it to dance in the complicated parts of you. Become intimate with love. Commit to standing alongside its Spirit, fight for it, defend it, and, most importantly, take care of it as it takes care of you. Make room for the Spirit of love, make room for its challenges, and its correction. Make room for it.
I needed to say aloud I am worthy of love over and over. I remember in March of this year 2020; I struggled to say it with intent. I didn’t believe I was loved and loved myself. When I said I am worthy of love; my voice cracked, as if my body was shocked and nervously excited about me making this introduction, I am love, and I am worthy of love.
Feeling like I am worthy of love hit different. It is not that same as saying I love myself. Speaking aloud, I am love, hit differently. It is not the same as saying I am loved. Making those statements meant I believed it. For the first time after heartbreak, I allowed myself to explore the reality of love. It is the light that cuts through darkness and the bride to peace. Love now lives within me, and like a lover, it sends me letters in the mirror every time I think about it and smile. Hello, beautiful it says, and I reply I love you as my cheeks kiss my eyes and my lips flirt with the knowledge that we will see and feel each other all day; inseparable, smothering, and unbridled, free to be me, accepting my reflection as love.
Love yourself, even when you don’t think you will love you back. Let your voice crack, and allow your mind to embrace its sweet aroma. Continue to say it, because love is flowing up through the soles of your feet into the depths of your soul, and with your consistency, it will intertwine itself into the very fabric of your being, and you too will notice your reflection as love.